Introduction to Sami
I ‘M AS
Biologically Im’ as the Male I was born.
This is referred to as my Sex .
I have no Desire to ever change this and will always remain a Male.
Your Sex denotes your biological differences and is the result of some very complicated science.
and is primarily determined by the reproductive organs with which we are born.
‘Historically’, we have always assigned another reference,
referred to as either ‘BOY’ (or Man) for the Human Male, or ‘GIRL’ (or Woman) for the Human Female.
Gender may be described as
Feminine or Masculine
if they are at
The Ends of the Spectrum
according to the expectations of your
Social or Cultural Environment.
Many people, who are struggling to accept or understand the whole Sex and Gender area of this subject
claim Sex and Gender to be the “Same Thing”.
Your Gender may be described as Feminine or Masculine.
These words look similar to the corresponding words which represent
expected attributions of the Sex.
These attributions are influenced by some natural selection requirements of the species
but are massively influenced by our Social or Cultural Environment.
The confusion around this is not helped by society’s constant failure
to differentiate between these two well defined, different, descriptions
including in the NHS where local GP surgeries ask for Gender on forms.
In reality, for the purpose of Good Health,
Biological differences are important
and Health Practitioners may be required to know your Sex,
but could easily be misled by Gender.
I know of, and have witnessed many examples of people mistaking somebody’s Gender/Sex
on account of their perceived ideas,
and that’s without any deliberate choice by the recipient to look that way.
I will take a more in depth look at ‘Expected Attributions’ within my site
but there is a massive emphasis in Western Culture
to dictate to each Gender what their choice of Clothing, Colour, Scents, Careers, Chores, Roles
and many more such ideas which are ultimately just Tastes or Preferences
and is a ridiculous notion…
What is particularly perplexing is that many of the Gender expectations has changed throughout history
and yet still raises so much controversy and conflict… and Harm!
While being considered by many as fixed!
I’m as the Male Child I was Born, with some Feminine expected attributes of Personality and Tastes,
Some I was less aware of or could not hide,
and many that I hid as became aware.
My mix of Gender expected attributes,
some of which I have always controlled according to the environment,
has therefore fluctuated all my life.
Many argue that Gender-Fluid, Non-Binary and lots of other expressions currently being used,
are all New and Void.
I prefer to use the term Gender-Fluid,
which I have presented here deliberately in a hyphenated form
to show it’s REAL Definition.
I have already defined the term Gender.
The second part/word is Fluid.
A Fluid, is often thought of as a liquid.
Liquid sits between the two physical states of Solid and Gas.
It can change viscosity (how thick it is).
I Love a Cup of Tea!
and I am definitely in the camp that says a good cup of tea is made using the water first.
I use the science backed argument
showing that the thickness and fat within milk blocks the pores of a Tea Bag
and therefore hampers the diffusion or ‘Brewing’ process.
According to Oxford English Dictionaries,
Fluid is the ability to change,
and may be involuntary as a result of changes in temperature
or by choices being made, as in the example
“Not settled or stable; likely or able to change…
‘the fluid political situation of the 1930s’
I think that I am well-founded to therefore describe myself as Gender-Fluid
in order to describe my Gender Attributes according to the need of the Social Construct
within which we currently reside.
Despite having the feelings and experiences of what can now be ‘termed’ and expressed more openly,
I kept this dimension of my personality fairly well under-wraps.
A combination of circumstance and a changing social environment
has resulted in my decision to finally allow the true expression of myself to ‘come out’.
In the early days of my ‘coming out’ journey,
I begun to ‘play’ with Clothing and Makeup and this later progressed to allowing others to see.
The psychological battles of still trying to be accepted within the social confines of expectations
resulted in the choosing of a more Feminine name to use when presenting to an outside world.
This was an uncomfortable process and I felt like i needed a name that relates itself to me in some way.
Despite always having a curiosity and gravity towards femininity,
I never saw myself as, or ever being a Woman
and therefore choosing a name was a new idea.
As my own name is Stuart, it appeared easier and more natural to retain the S
but the available names just did not feel right.
I decide that I needed to try and find a name that represented me,
and my brain quickly searched through lots of ways to say exactly that
when suddenly I’m As came to me along with the realisation
that in reverse I was presented with an androgynous name.
This therefore felt a very appropriate monica
and was literally a
‘Reflection of Me’,
I’m As – Sami.
And so in the relative anonymity of the web
and the crowd of a club
I now had a name which was not so feminine it felt uncomfortable,
nor so masculine it turned additional heads quickly to question,
and held connotations that enable true expression.
And so, I started to wear the name
much like that of an
An Alter-Ego is a secondary Character…
It may be for Good Deed such as Superman is to Clark Kent
It may be for Artistic Purpose
such as Slim Shady was for Eminem
and Sasha Fierce to Beyonce
Some people spend lots of time in their Alter-Ego
such as Sacha-Baren Cohen often does or
Will Smith used to, as ‘The Fresh Prince’
while undertaking a day in Society
Most people use an Unamed Alter-Ego…
To Impress their Peers,
‘Act as Expected’ at work,
or Set an Example to their Children,
yet may remain very different
in their own home
or with chosen company (friends)
Some people will Act complete idiots and Blame Drink or Drugs,
But it’s still them inside
and they are held responsible for that person,
so there is little difference.
I’m As the same…
Caring, Loving, Sensitive, Considerate,
I have always been.
I remain the…
Strong, Independent, Logical,Assertive, Protective, Courageous ( i’ve been told 🙂 ) Leading
Individual that I have always been…
Since I’ve always had so many internal traits considered ‘Feminine’ by our culture,
what difference will some girly rags and Make-Up make?
I still naturally hold the doors for the girls when I’m out,
get protective when Pissed Twats are hassling them,
and wired a friends Cooker,
even though I was wearing a skirt.
Personally, I Consider the above to be pretty good evidence
to support the fact that I may be considered
and I am Free to choose any name I wish to use.
If you listen to my Poem,
You will see that I am very flexible about reference to me
and although I have become very fond of my new name
as a result of it’s meaning and intentions
I am and will always be Stuart also.
However I Am addressed…
However I am Presenting…
I will ALWAYS only be…
All of the Definitions come from the Oxford English Dictionary
because that’s what I used in my education.
You May follow the Hyperlinks (Click on the words)