Titanium 4 – Dip or Dive…I’ve Been Swimming (Treading Water) and I’ve only Just come up for Air!

Titanium
July 10, 2018

So my presence here took a break as I organised my life in the real world…

My Closest family members have gone quiet on me as I explore all areas of Gender, Not just the one I was assigned at birth…

There were but a few that glimpsed my Titanium Blog Series which reached three installments, they still exist… Like the Bullets in the song that inspired their name, they ricochet around my Hard-Drive looking for the weak spot to burst back onto screen…

The force-field that contains them was created by the words of those discussed with their threats of silence and outcast… The complaint was that I was permitted to talk about my own life, but not theirs…

Its a Biography??? It’s my story!!!  Those concerned are a part of that regardless of whether they now wish they wasn’t.

It transpired that their main concerns were more about what I might write, rather than what I had actually written. On consulting many friends since, I am satisfied that I wasn’t being disrespectful. Had patience been employed by those concerned, they would have subsequently read that I wasn’t holding grudges about the way I felt or the way I was often misunderstood or mistreated, quite the opposite, it was supposed to help highlight the effects of perception and try to educate about the need for more discussion and consideration when we react.

These lessons directly impact my parenting today, and while there are some that will be quick to try and share examples of where I didn’t do this, or that, here or there, I know I did do it in the one place where I had full authority, was not so easily over-ruled or undermined by others, in the modern family set-up.  And that one example is an extremely bright and shining example indeed. If someone wants to ‘Pull-Me-Up’ on anything related to this statement, THEY MAY DO SO, the comments are Public, I will reply Publicly, and we will let each person who reads be their own judge…

 

It’s been about 7 months since those threats were made and the strange thing is that the Complaintee has made no effort to actually discuss anything with me since…period, and the other person they claimed to speak on behalf of is doing the absolute minimum since I became more visible in my real life and social media. As are a few of the others that I have done so much for… Que sera sera, as my dear old Nan always say’s

They may be just busy, and me…over-sensitive, but hey i’m guessing I will find out soon enough.

My brother, My close friends and I, all had a bit of a theory when we were younger, If we got in to trouble with Parents or others for something we didnt do, but those reprimanding us failed to believe, and it was something we would quite like to have done, we would treat the punishment like Credit… That Credit was a Voucher for FUN, a ‘Crime’ we were almost obliged to committ in retrospect to appease our injustice….

That is something I have been playing over and over…

For now the last 7 months has brought me many more shining examples of some of the lessons I wanted to highlight about how we make our assumptions, the way those assumptions make us feel and how being aware of how such scenarios often play out, can bring an inner peace and an easier, more positively trodden, path moving forward…

I am not about to launch instantly into these examples, it would  be like a brook, babbling and winding, falling and evaporating, as my mind sails along like a struggling branch in game of pooh sticks…

While many of the experiences can often feel very much like these meandering strips of water, finding their way, commonly shaded by the Trees that line them, Dropping their Rotten Wood and Dead Leaves, creating temporary dams and underwater tunnels with restricted light, as the animals dip in their heads to drink from the same source that others feel the need to piss and shit in, I will be looking to write more from the perspective of the calmer pools and lakes that allow for little breaks and wider reflection with their mix of shadey edges and expanses of liquid slapped by the rain, shook by the wind and warmed by the sun, while other creatures may choose to live contently on, or within, or simply throw stones to enjoy the ripples that follow…

I would like to Invite You to dip an observant toe, or take a commenting dive in to these tales of my Fluid existence and hopeful insights into the reflections I see when I peer into these little moments of existence…

Sami xx

 

1 thought on “Titanium 4 – Dip or Dive…I’ve Been Swimming (Treading Water) and I’ve only Just come up for Air!”

  1. Sylvia says:

    Hello 😊

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